the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
