Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
