I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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