i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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