I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
