I wish I could teleport
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize