Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
