Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
