TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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