the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
