I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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