I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
