we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
