lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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