In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
