after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
i think my cat just said my name.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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