What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
