it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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