I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
where am i from again
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
