i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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