he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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