I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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