Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
