Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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