He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
