You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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