in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
