out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
