i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
