I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
