I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
whose parrot is this?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
