How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
