Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
