And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
