Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Come share oat with me in your robe
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
