You smell like stripper and shame
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
