I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize