everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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