So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
