He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
