So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
