She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
