I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
