I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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