if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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