how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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