There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It's never too late to be topless.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
