if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
