I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
