The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
