Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Can you bring me the toilet please
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
