Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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