Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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