Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Who wears a wallet chain?!
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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