she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
