Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
