i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
