She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
