We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
