I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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