I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
