the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
FUCK WHALES
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
