I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
